Day 14 — The Elusive Halloween Costume — 40 Days of Writing, Fall Session 2014

I spent 90 minutes in a Halloween store yesterday — you know the kind of store. If it’s not in an empty retail space it’s usually in some other sort of makeshift spot like a big circus tent. The one I visited was the latter, which is really beside the point.

Chuck and I are invited to a Halloween party this year. We haven’t been to one in years; the last ones we attended, we wore our standard pirate costumes, back when pirates were all the rage (thank you, Johnny Depp).

I thought about digging out the pirate outfits again, but to be honest, I need a change, and I know that, as much as Chuck hates to buy things we already have, he is probably up for something different, as well.

So after my visit to the Macy’s Clinique counter (where I got my free gift with purchase after spending over $25), I drove across the mall to the makeshift Halloween store, thinking I would just pop in, find something suitable for Chuck and me, then be out within 30 minutes. Shows what I know, after not having shopped for Halloween costumes in over 12 years.

I wasn’t so concerned about what I would wear; I would simply find something for Chuck, then match it with something for me. Although I didn’t rule out going as unrelated characters, it just seemed logical and time efficient to go as a set.

I perused the aisles of costumes, wigs and other accessories, and finally settled upon a Mad Hatter outfit that I knew he wouldn’t hate. I then meandered over to the women’s costumes to see if I could find something of an Alice in Wonderland, Mad Hatter Hostess or Red Queen persuasion.

Due to my size 12 body, I tend to fall into the XL camp, and that’s fine; it all tends to gravitate upstairs, and since I would rather have something that doesn’t pucker across my boobage, I go with the flow, even wearing a 14 at times.

As much as I take solace in knowing I am not alone, there is also the frustration of seeing nothing but P/S (Petite Small) and M/L (Medium Large) available. I did finally find a costume labeled Mushroom Alice, in XL, so I settled on it for the time being, but continued to look around.

I wound up trying on a few costumes, but they either didn’t fit right, or they looked plain ridiculous. Although Mushroom Alice fit fine, I wasn’t ready to commit as, a) I didn’t feel like explaining what the hell a Mushroom Alice was to other party-goers, and b) the costume just wasn’t me, even though I planned on donning a blond Alice-type wig.

Seems it’s all about sexy, when it comes to Halloween, especially for women (of any size), so that should come as no surprise that there were plenty of XLs of the standard Alice in Wonderland costume with puff-sleeved blue dress that fell below the knee and was adorned with ruffled white pinafore. No thanks; I wore something similar many years ago when Chuck and I threw a Valentine party where you had to come as famous lovers; he was Alfalfa and I was Darla. He looked great, but as Darla, my outfit was a snore.

For kicks I ventured over to the plus-sizes and the selection seemed better, with a couple of Red Queen costumes beckoning. “Yes, I thought, that is more me.” Although I wasn’t a 1X, I figured Red Queen in that size trumped Mushroom Alice in just my size.

In the dressing room the Red Queen costume, although a bit loose, was definitely more my speed. It came with a cloth crown (which I may upgrade to something more sturdy before the party), and I found a fun, funky red wig to pair with it. I also picked out a Mad Hatter wig for Chuck (which I’m certain he’ll balk at), and some purple spectacles (which I’m sure he’ll enjoy wearing) and made my way to checkout.

I couldn’t believe how long the process took, but was relieved to finally get out of there with costumes worthy of replacing our pirate ones.

Now that I had solid costumes to wear, I went to the invite for the Halloween Party that was sent to me via Facebook, to change my “Maybe” to a “Yes.” Scrolling down a bit on the invite, I see something I missed before: “The theme this year is “Wild, Wild West.”

Story of my life. Day 15 will be a much-needed sequel to this one. Stay tuned.

The expression I had on my face when I
re-read the invite.

About kdanek17

A work in progress. Radio personality and voiceover artist. I love cooking, entertaining, and being with friends & family (which includes my dogs).
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